Election Wishlists

September 2nd, 2010

While the Australian federal election has so far failed to deliver ‘stable government’, it’s proving a rich source for my novel-to-come, How To Win At Democracy. Nothing like a bit of messiness to shine a light or two.

In Australia’s new political era of minority goverments (assuming it doesn’t take the full 3 years to sort it out) the ‘in’ thing seems to be writing wishlists. The independents are all doing it, so I reckon we should all jump in and have our say too. Maybe at the next election, we can staple them to our ballot papers.

Here’s my list (for starters)

Replace Ricky Ponting as captain of Australia. Maybe think about abolishing cricket altogether (it might be the kindest thing).

Replace Tony Abbott as leader of the Liberal Party (Yes, I know I’m writing this list for you, Tony, but think about it. I’ll take Hockey, if absolutely necessary. I’ll take Turnbull.)

Members of parliamanent must live in their electorates (hello, Julia).

Abolish the ludicrous election posters adorning every tree and pole in town. If nobody puts them up, nobody misses out.

Scrap political advertising: the ads are so aggressive they’re violent. They’re like cartoons, they way they over-simplify and colour everything.

Could everybody stop moaning about preference deals. Nobody makes a voter vote a particular way.

Could somebody come around and get my Topfield working. It’s footy finals time and it won’t tape right.

Make any politician who stays ‘on message’ for more than five minutes at a time do 10 push-ups, and 20 for any any journalist who gives them a hard time for going off message. Staying on message is not natural. It’s not normal. It’s not interesting. It’s not productive. They only do it because they think we want them to.

Tasmania really should have an AFL team.

Scrap question time. It’s ludicrous, it wastes time, it’s nothing but false confrontation and bad theatre. Find another way to make governments accountable.

Why can’t people outside of the US to enter the New Yorker’s online cartoon caption competition?

I’d like to eat more fruit.

The Big Issue

August 4th, 2010

My short story ‘Trumpet’ appeared in The Big Issue’s recent fiction special, ‘Toasty Tales’ (No 359, 20 July – 2 Aug 2010). It’s a story I’ve been playing around with for years, and is inspired – very loosely – by the life of Boyle Travers Finniss, an early South Australian. Amongst many other activities in a long and active public life, Finniss led a flawed expedition to the Northern Territory to establish the site of the new capital. According to the Australian Dictionary of Biography, ‘Industrious, honest and self-righteous, Finniss was an acute observer of his fellows and his sense of public duty impelled him to point out the mistakes of others, however trivial.’ See the ABD’s full entry here.

If you can still find one, The Big Issue fiction special is terrific, and includes stories by heavyweights Michael Faber, Linda Jaivin, Christos Siolkas and Toni Jordan. It’s a great magazine, a great initiative.

Wet Ink Interview

July 12th, 2010

Susan Errington interviews me in the new issue (19) of Wet Ink: the magazine of new writing. I talk about Figurehead, the Miles Franklin Award, writing fiction from the academy, whether creativity can be taught, George Orwell, etc etc. On the Miles Franklin Award, I’m enthusiast about the debate the award prompts every year about what does (and doesn’t) constitute ‘Australian life in any of its phases’. I think there’s been an important corrective in recent years, a broadening of something that should never have been so narrow. It’s hard to believe that any judge would now consider Frank Moorhouse’s Grand Days ineligible. But I’d be wary of going any further: this award draws its flavour from Miles Franklin’s direction and from her strongly held views and preoccupations.

Miles Franklin on digestion

July 8th, 2010

A couple of nights ago I dreamt that I had stomach cramps … and then woke up with stomach cramps. The next day I read Miles Franklin on dreams and digestion. This is from her diary, 12 January 1936 (I commend Paul Brunton’s edited volume, Allen & Unwin in association with State Library of New South Wales, 2004):

‘I dream only when I have offended my digestion, and my digestion is a long suffering apparatus. Pounds of fruit late at night, fatty matter, heavy pastries, excessive sugar, irregularity in meals, nothing upsets me. Only for the damage done by the unconscionable quantities of quinine I swallowed for malaria contracted in the Balkans, I think I could digest anything, so long as I relish it. But there are occasional weaknesses. Too big a slice of cheese eaten next before retiring induces dreams almost unfailingly & militates against my belief that they can have any psychic significance.

Last evening I devoured a large over-ripe mango which had the same effect as cheese.’

Word Watch #1

July 1st, 2010

I can’t spell ‘rhythm’ any more. Just can’t do it. I blame spellchecker on Microsoft Word.

Political Memos

June 24th, 2010

A staggering day in Aussie politics, as Kevin07 unrolls his sleeves and stops the business of getting on with the hard work (and, maybe, for his sake, gets some sleep) and ‘our Julia’ becomes Australia’s first woman prime minister. I’ll blog on all this when I can get my head around it all, but for now a memo or two (I don’t tweet; I don’t really even understand tweeting):

Memo to Kev: oops, eh? If it’s any help (and I’m sure it’s not), I trot out the same new year’s resolution for myself every year: ’start less, finish more’. I don’t ever follow my own advice, though, any more than I’ve managed to get fit in the last several years just because I’ve told myself to at 12.05 a.m. on January 1.

Supplementary memo to Kev: I’m available, and my rates are excellent, if you want some help writing your tell-all book. We could call it Strewth, it’s the Truth. Or, Blimey, That Was Quick. Or, with apologies to Monty Python, Grate Expectations.

Memo to ‘our Julia’: I once wrote that Cate Blanchett would be Australia’s first woman prime minister. Sorry, I never should have doubted you! If it’s any consolation, once upon a time I bet good money that Laurie Brereton would become Labor leader. I never paid up, mind you (sorry, Glenn!).

Supplementary memo to ‘our Julia’: if you need a non-True Believer speechwriter, give me a ring.

Memo to Tim Whatever-Your-Last-Name-Is: do us proud, and maybe along the way you can help show blokes that feminism is good for everybody, blokes included.

Memo to Joe Hockey: defect! Defect! You know you want to.

Memo to self: on days like this, the purpose of blogging seems very questionable. Today, everybody is writing  … but is anybody reading?

‘Potatoes In All Their Glory’ watch 1

June 2nd, 2010

My novel-in-progress (I should call it my novel-in-reverse since it’s shrinking daily) is called Potatoes In All Their Glory. Because it’s about food and drink (and life, the universe and everything), I’ve started keeping track of what I eat. Call it research. You won’t be surprised to learn that it’s riveting stuff. No, really. Here’s an example:

1. Glass of Adelaide tap water 2. mug of boiled Adelaide tap water poured over shrivelled up piece of lemon found at the back of the fridge 3. short black, home made, using ‘Amalfi blend’ ground beans from the Perfect Cup, Central Market. 4. Porridge, consisting of 1/2 cup Uncle Tobys oats, half a cup of Fleurieu Milk Company Jersey Premium Low Fat Milk, quarter of a cup of Adelaide tap water (nothing premium about that), microwaved and mixed with dried nectarines (presumably with sulphur), sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds 5. six mini pecan rolls, (i.e. they look like sausage rolls only they’re made with pecans, eggs, cottage cheese, ricotta, etc) 6. Adelaide tap water 7. Adelaide tap water 8. Carmen’s brand muesli bar 9. short black, as above 10. glass of Metala Langhorne Creek Shiraz Cabernet 2007 11. casserole: lamb, toms, onion, garlic, fetta cheese plus a wholemeal bread roll to mop up the juices. 12. glass of wine, as above 13. Adelaide tap water.

Stay tuned for more exciting installments …

Sydney Writers’ Festival

June 2nd, 2010

I recently spent a fun and busy weekend at the Sydney Writers’ Festival. On Saturday 22 May I shared a panel with fellow first-time novelists Kirsten Tranter and Steven Amsterdam, chaired with ablomb by Jeff Sparrow, editor of the journal Overland. I’ve blogged previously about Amsterdam’s wonderful Things We Didn’t See Coming, which is slowly but surely conquering the world (not that Amsterdam gives any particular indication that he wants to be a conquerer). I’m about half way through Tranter’s The Legacy: enjoying it, so far.  There’s real depth to the characters and it does that thing that good big books do: it seems simultaneously taut and yet sprawling. More on The Legacy when I’ve actually finished it, though. The panel itself was fun – I did my standard rant about how important the editing process is and how lots of writers think editing is some sort of competition or something to be resisted. I also went on a bit about how with all this talking about books going on, we might remember to also read a book now and again too … which I suppose was a bit like telling everyone in the audience to go home. I didn’t trot out (because I’ve come to both agree and disagree with it) one of my favourite quotes, by the great US novelist William Gaddis: ‘I feel like part of the vanishing breed that thinks a writer should be read and not heard, let alone seen. I think this is because there seems so often today to be a tendency to put the person in the place of his or her own work, to turn the creative artist into a performing one, to find what a writer says about writing somehow more valid, or more real, than the writing itself.’ (from his essay, ‘The Rush For Second Place’)

Also on Saturday I read from Figurehead at a ‘Reading Muster’ session. I got to sing a couple of lines of Roger Miller’s ‘King of the Road’ (the mangled lyrics remix). I’m not sure that helped me sell any books but you never know. I shared that session with Marie Munkara (I reviewed her hilarious book, Every Secret Thing, in April’s Australian Book Review, not available online), Rebecca James (whose writing I’m not familiar with) and the legendary David Foster, who gave an startling, theatrical performance of the beginning of his novel, Sons of the Rumour.

On Sunday I shared a panel on ‘Repressive Regimes’ with Barbara Demick, now the LA Times correspondent in Beijing. Barbara has written a fascinating book about North Korea, Nothing To Envy, which looks at the lives of individuals in that strange, troubled and troubling country. The book offers fascinating and awful glimpse into an Orwellian state, made even more troubling by the fact that Demick humanises the North Korean experience, introducing readers to people trying to get on with their lives rather than only delving into big picture politics.

I also got to do a couple of early morning jogs – well, staggers really – around Circular Quay and up the Opera House Steps. Just like Rocky Balboa, only without the muscles or the raw eggs.

On Wordstorm, Darwin

May 26th, 2010

I recently spent a few days in Darwin as a participant in the Wordstorm Festival. Plus enthusiastic audience member. To be in Darwin is to be reminded how close Australia is to Asia, especially to Timor and to Indonesia. Maybe, as a subtle reminder, the rest of us could be trucked up to the Top End once a year. Something else for Kevin Rudd to think about and then not act on. I ate a stack of good food, too, not least a fabulous Thai yellow seafood curry (I’ve almost forgiven the waiter for ignoring me when I was trying, with increasing desperation, to order another beer).

Top of various highlights of Wordstorm was a searing panel session entitled ‘When Death is a Constant’, featuring Ali Cobby Eckermann, Iyut Fitra and Wesley Enoch. It was desperate, sad, angry, poetic and thought-provoking. And hugely entertaining in the best and most challenging of ways. A rare moment in any Writers’ Festival. I was also privileged to hear a 20 minute Germaine Greer riff on myths in Australia. Because the focus is usually (and quite rightly) on Greer’s ideas, pronouncements and legacy, it’s easy to forget what a brilliant user of words she is — especially on the page but also in front of a crowd. I also enjoyed watching Don Walker in action a couple of times, and it was fun to watch his laconic insistence that on most days basically nothing happens to an audience who couldn’t quite bring themselves to believe that (a) it might be true, or (2) a former member of Cold Chisel could be the one pointing it out to them.

I enjoyed my own sessions. I was on a panel called ‘Utopia’ with Indigenous writers Philip McLaren and Yvette Holt and Indonesian  writer and broadcaster, Mohamad Gunter Romli, and another panel called ‘Writing Yourself into History’ with Jill Jolliffe (author of the excellent book of investigative journalism, Balibo) and José Bello, an East Timorese journalist and freedom fighter.

Interviewing Eisenhower?

May 10th, 2010

In one scene in my novel, Figurehead, journo Ted Whittlemore invents the content of an interview with the Khmer Rouge leader, Nhem Kiry. He doesn’t like Kiry’s actual answers so he makes up some better ones. Another time he claims to be an eyewitness to a riot in Phnom Penh when he is actually stuck in Saigon.

I mention this because I’ve just been reading Richard Rayner’s revelation in The New Yorker that the widely-read US historian, Stephen Ambrose, may have fabricated interviews with President Dwight D. Eisenhower (see Rayner’s article here). While Ambrose claimed he spent ‘hundreds and hundreds of hours’ interviewing the ex-general and President, the records of Eisenhower’s life, quite astonishingly detailed, suggest this is impossible.

This is fascinating stuff. Ambrose died in 2002 so he can’t defend or explain himself. His two-volume biography of Eisenhower is, Rayner says, ‘still regarded as the standard’ and he wrote or edited a lot more about Eisenhower. This prompts all sorts of questions. Are there transcripts of these ‘interviews’, whether real or imagined, somewhere amongst Ambrose’s papers? If he did invent interviews, what was his motivation? Did he believe he understood Eisenhower so well that he could, in effect, speak for him? Or was it expediency? Regardless of the reasons, what does it do for the credibility of his work — about Eisenhower or anything else for that matter?

There are presumably Eisenhower experts who will be able to sniff out the real from the embellished from the imaginery with reasonable accuracy. But for the rest of us, how should we now read Ambrose? When Ambrose speaks for Eisenhower and cites a private interview as evidence, do we simply disregard it?